By Sue Ellson
Do you play the Cards of Illness?
You have probably heard of the ‘cards you have been dealt with’ in life, but I would like to ask you, “Do you play the Cards of Illness?”
Do you take a sickie from work on a Monday because you didn’t look after your health over the weekend?
Do you say that you have a headache when your partner wants a little nookie but you are still angry about something they did or didn’t do recently?
Do you tell someone that you will see how you feel tomorrow when you don’t want to tell them you now have a better offer?
Do you suddenly become unwell when you don’t want to go to a family function?
Do you plant the seed of ‘not feeling great’ in the morning so that you can leave early in the afternoon?
Do you say that you have muscle soreness so that you can receive a massage but not give one in return?
Do you mention your health challenges to earn special favours when you are out and about?
Let me start by saying, that after doing a lot of work on myself, there is no judgment here, despite how all of these situations have affected me in the past. I suspect some of them may have affected you too.
If you are the person aggrieved, I get it.
It can feel like a personal attack. An excuse. A constant frustration. An exercise in futility when you persist despite the knock backs. A genuine annoyance that a person cannot just be honest with you, get over their issues or speak up in an assertive manner.
If you are the person playing the card of illness, I also get it.
I understand that the sickie is a combination of wanting to escape your work and avoid the difficult conversation you may have tried in the past that hasn’t worked.
I understand that after explaining over and over again that some things are important to you and your partner doesn’t acknowledge it, you deny the nookie in frustration.
I understand that you don’t want to hurt someone by not accepting their…